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He told me very calmly: "I am going to kill myself. I deserve to die and go to hell."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I not only killed enemy soldiers in combat, but I murdered lots of innocent civilians as well." Knowing I had been a chaplain, he went on: "You have spent your entire life working for God, and I have done all this evil, so where does that leave me?"

"You get the party and I don’t," I replied.

"What are you taking about?" he asked.

So I did a quick paraphrase of the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke's Gospel. I pointed out that I was like the older son, while he, with all his guilt--which amounted to real sorrow and repentance--was like the younger son, the one who gets the party.

I threw in the story of the lost sheep, with me being among the ninety-nine left alone by the shepherd who goes out and finds him. "It leaves me feeling jealous of you," I said. "Because you’re getting all this attention from God."

He had never looked at it that way before, so he decided to stay alive long enough to ponder these things.

At our next session, I told him about Saul of Tarsus, a man with blood on his hands, on another murder mission, who was converted and became the great apostle. Subsequent meetings introduced him to assorted biblical characters, and also to John Newton, the slave ship captain who, after his conversion became a priest and the author of the great hymn Amazing Grace. We got around to Ignatius Loyola, a soldier, recovering from wounds, who decided to become a soldier for God and then founded the Jesuits.

After several sessions, I introduced the conclusion to all this. "Compared to a lot of people God has used to accomplish great good in this world, you really are kind of a Sunday school kid. So quit wallowing in guilt and do some good for other people."

He decided to do just that.

In the two or three years remaining in his life, he became a friend, counselor, benefactor and mentor to a great many people. When he finally died of the liver disease that his many years of drinking had caused, we celebrated his life at a funeral attended by hundreds of people he had helped and who were inspired because they knew the history of his life. As the preacher on that occasion, I was able to add his name to the list of those in whom God's grace had accomplished much.

Because he was doubtless enjoying the feast prepared for him in heaven, we had one in his honor right after the funeral. It was quite a party.